It's Great To See You Again! Since You're Back, Make Sure To Get My posts via email For More Great Content!

While my last 3 days of this challenge has ended several days ago, I now see what I have done ‘wrong’ (or rather now I see what is right).  Nearly every single day of these past 30 days had to do with not believing in myself, and so I am relearning perhaps the most fundamental lesson that I had glossed over so many times:

Do I really believe in myself?

I suppose some fundamentalist Christians would suggest I am not trusting in God, but in myself.  Well, the fact is that for me to trust in God presupposes that I trust in my own faith in God.  I have a firm belief that God delights in his children doing amazing things, as it would make any father proud to see his children do amazing things.

I see myself as created in the image of God, which means I am created to be a reflection of his glory through my attitude, behaviors, and ultimately my entire life.  Thus, any negativity in my thoughts, feelings, and behaviors is quite literally the antithesis of God. (I realize this post does sound a bit religious, yet what I am describing doesn’t necessarily contradict what people of other faiths/traditions believe in.)

The major lesson I am now learning is that I LITERALLY create my reality by believing or not believing in myself.  By not believing in what I am truly capable of doing as a child of God, it’s like I am smacking God in the face (though He is unconditionally forgiving me).  I have a firm belief that He is on my side, and that I am called to greatness by virtue of the fact that I am a child of God created in His image.

Ultimately, as I look at my current financial situation, there is an obvious correlation between my beliefs and my physical reality.  However, I wasn’t even aware of the beliefs until they fully manifested into reality.  Now that it’s clearly out in the open, I am in a position to make some major changes.

So, do I believe in myself?  I have now decided that I do

Humility.  That’s a word that I sometimes don’t like, yet clearly it takes a certain level of humility to recognize one’s faults.  Fortunately, I did manage to pay my rent (had to borrow it from a cousin), and it is a bit embarrassing, but rather than beating myself up with this, I choose to move forward.  Ultimately, I was not aware of what I had been doing to myself (financially) until all sorts of money issues started hitting me all at the same time.

I am humbled by all the mess I have created, but now that I am in this position, I have a much clearer idea of what to do.  Now that I’m ‘sober’, I see what needs to be done and I feel much more alive.  I’m not exactly sure how to describe this.  It’s like I’ve been in a coma or something, but now I am certain that I will turn around my financial situation in a relatively short period of time.

Ultimately, I realise I was unwilling to receive money, otherwise I would be wealthy.  When I saw how much of a financial burden I caused upon myself, it required that I change my perspective completely.  As they say, “if you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got”.  As a result, something is radically different.  I literally feel different.  I’m excited to see what happens in the upcoming days/weeks ahead. :)

Wow, it’s been over a FULL week since my last update, and I’m tempted to beat myself up for it (which I won’t do).  During that time, my mind has be completely off track.  The temptation to give up or just do something else is so great, but now the alarm bells are ringing.  I’m not gonna lie, this is my current situation:

1)  I currently don’t have enough to pay my rent (roughly 700 dollars) this coming Saturday.
2)  I missed my last credit card payment, due to mismanaging my paypal and bank account,
3)  which means I cannot use my credit card
3)  I don’t have any funds left in US dollars
3)  I have amassed roughly $9000 in credit card debt.
4)  Last week Monday, I got a job interview and was selected to work for a particular company, but at the last minute they suddenly turned me down.
5)  Thus I am currently jobless, and I have NO IDEA what I am going to do at this point.  Certainly interesting! LOL

Normally this would freak people out, and it certainly isn’t my most enjoyable situation for me, but having done a lot of clearing on my own, I see this as a fun challenge.  I won’t deny the fact that I’m literally terrified, yet at the same time, this reminds me of going on a roller coaster.  It’s ridiculously fun.

And I always thought it would be cool to be in an experience where I would be put into such a challenging situation, like if someone suddenly dropped me in a foreign country and told me to survive, would I be able to do it?  I believe the answer is yes, but it isn’t without some level of difficulty.

So now I am forced into a similar test:  Do I actually have what it takes to come up with $700 in 5 days even though I don’t have a job?  This is without a doubt a very trying time, but I’m kinda excited about this.  I am not about to miss a payment which I’ve never done, but the pressure to get this done is pushing me to clear all my emotional barriers which get in my way of seeing greater possibilities and solutions.  And I’m not about to borrow money since that’s just a cop out or a band-aid as it just delays the inevitable where I would face my fears and do something about the problem.

It’s time that I use what I’ve learned over the years to get over my own problems.  As I said earlier, I will not complain, justify or blame.  This is 100% my responsibility.  And it’s time I make this change!

Wow, it’s Friday already and it seems like yesterday that I last updated.

Over the past few days, I’ve come to a major realisation about myself:  I am responsible for my entire financial situation.  I am responsible for all my thoughts/emotions that caused my current state.  So why is this significant?  Because it presupposes I am responsible for completely changing my finances.

I literally took no action to improve my lack of abundance over the past month or so.  However, yesterday I spent nearly 6 hours releasing all sorts of negativity attached to my lack of abundance.  It was surprisingly easier yesterday than all the previous days combined.  I suspect it has to do with the awareness that the clock is ticking, and rent is due in 2 weeks

I am not worried though.  In fact, I am FAR more confident that I am going to pay off rent very easily.  I know I will clear my credit card debt and end up with an abundance of cashflow (though I have no idea how long this will take).  I say this because I realise the importance of courageousness.

Fear is largely an illusion.  Earlier this week, I was plagued by this fear, but after having worked on myself, and having listened to enough teleconference calls, I now know for a fact that I no longer have to play the victim game because “I am the boss” and that emotions have no control over me unless I let them.  It is so easy to let the emotions take over, but by deciding to be courageous, I reclaim my power.  Stepping into courageousness has allowed me to stare at my fears, only to realise that they are really nothing.  It is literally False Evidence Appearing Real.  I remember hearing that phrase so often that it sounded like a cliche.  I kept getting angry or frustrated with it since I was constantly stuck in fear unable to get out.  Even with the current tools I’ve been using for several years, I found it difficult to change some of these issues, but my current understanding of the Release Technique has given me the strength to take back my life rather than being the victim.  It took me a while to grasp this, but now I get it:  The key is to decide to quit playing the victim game.  I reached that point, and so now I no longer entertain disempowering thoughts.  I take 100% responsibility, even though life isn’t exactly fair all the time.

So now that I have a much more empowering outlook on life, I plan to begin marketing again quite soon.  Earlier, I was feeling a bit afraid of marketing for whatever strange reason, but then I was reminded of how I managed to teach English in spite of any fears I once had with teaching English.  I realise I had the courage in me to teach.  I remember, the thought of teaching used to stir up strong feelings of anxiety, but it’s quite different now.  Courageousness is the first step to change, and I take full responsibility :)

Today, I realised the importance of staying aware.  I decided to do something that I had never done before:  Welcome ALL emotions.  This is not exactly the most enjoyable thing to do, but I discovered how critical it is to do this.  Basically, if I let any negativity stay hidden somewhere in my mind, it will only cause more trouble later on, and I’m not about to cause myself anymore unnecessary hardships.

I don’t particularly enjoy being aware of all these hidden emotions, but when they begin to surface, rather than automatically suppressing them (which can often happen within seconds by reaching for food, smoking, TV, procrastinating, etc), I stare them in the face.  It’s like I’m doing a waking meditation.  I am doing my best to not let any thought go unnoticed.

So, how am I doing this?

Simple.  Whenever I have a thought, I would say “Yes” to it, to simply acknowledge it.  The key is to say it consciously to everything that crosses my mind, and I often do it repeatedly to the same thought (almost like a mantra) but without doing it mindlessly.  This not only allows me to consciously live my life (as opposed to living on autopilot), it keeps me aware of all the mental noise I have.   Therefore it gives me opportunities to reduce the disempowering feelings that are often attached to these thoughts.  Why does this work?  Because the word ‘yes’ feels positive.  It feels more open and welcoming, while ‘no’ feels more closed off, so when I take a positive and place it upon a negative, the negative is less negative.  In other words, by repeating the word ‘yes’, it neutralizes the negative charge over time.  Generally, this happens within minutes, though sometimes up to 30 minutes or longer.

I have used some other approaches from The Release Technique, but I particularly like to keep it simple just by saying ‘yes’.  It works, and I’m now seeing a LOT more junk coming out.  It’s like I’m cleansing myself.  Not exactly fun, but more rewarding in the long run, and I am committed to freeing myself from these issues because I know for sure that they are the cause of all the problems I’ve had up until now.

Curious About My Primary Method For Creating Lasting Change?  Check Out The Release Technique!